Willing Hands: The Heart behind a Happy Home

Today I’m returning to the ancient poem in the Bible about a wife and mother who “works with willing hands” (Proverbs 31:13). I will be looking at what it means in our own lives and in our culture to do our home-based work with willing hands today. This can bring us joy and give us a happy home too.

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A home requires daily work (hourly, if you have small children!). Even just to wash the dishes and change the sheets. For me this work includes changing nappies, chopping vegetables and hanging out mountains of washing. Your home work may look very different to mine. For those who are single it may only take a few minutes each day. But for those with small children or larger families, this work is a full-time commitment.

As a young mama I remember having some days when I resented my work at home. My hands carried on vacuuming, preparing food, and folding baby clothes into drawers but my heart wasn’t in it. Resentful thoughts about how much work I had to do and how unfulfilled I was clouded my heart. This would be the opposite of ‘willing hands’, so there was a disconnect between my heart and my hands.

Having willing hands is essential to our woman in the poem. Firstly, because she has so much to accomplish. She has sewing and gardening projects, business deals, and food preparation to do. Unwilling hands don’t get much done. They tend to do the bare minimum and grumble about it anyway. Secondly, the willing hands are vital because the attitude of her heart flows through into the work of her hands. If her hands are willing to devote time to life and work in her home, then it shows that her heart also feels the same.

Three Ways Willing Hands make a Happy Home

1. Priorities

It takes character and determination to decide to major on home-based work. There is a big difference between saying you want a happy home, and actually being willing to give other things up if needed to do a good job. This is no small thing, as Bekah Merkle writes:

We have become accustomed to think that there’s no room to run at home – if we want to throw ourselves at something meaningful, it needs to be ‘out there’ in the world. Underachievers stay at home; women who want to do something with their lives go out into the workforce.

Merkle, Eve in Exile, p. 150

If you are going to prioritise your home as your career (which might look different for different stages of life), you will be seen as an underachiever. Going against the cultural tide in this way requires courage and conviction. It also comes with the great joy of showing your household that they matter more to you than anything else, that you value them enough to care for their home.

2. Hard Work

We willingly make sacrifices and work hard to make our homes a place of blessing and refreshment for our families, friends and beyond.

Being a godly wife and mother is a skill requiring practice, teaching and expertise.

Merkle, Eve in Exile, p. 133

There are many things to learn about a home, and it takes really hard work. If you have a willing heart it really helps you in those challenging moments. Left to yourself, alone at home during the day, you can decide whether to do a minimal amount of work or to create something really beautiful. A flourishing home is well-organised, beautiful in its own way (not like something off Pinterest), peaceful, and with plenty of homemade food. Enough for the family and more to share! This requires lots of skill, which means lots of practice, like playing a good instrument.

3. Love

Our society has clearly ruled that when it comes down to a choice between your husband and children on one side and you on the other…the right choice, the noble choice, the wise choice, is always you.

Merkle, Eve in Exile, p.31

Willing hands, driven by love, will go out of our comfort zones in order to help and serve others. This may mean getting up at night with a sick child, or a special effort at the end of a long day to make your husband’s favourite meal. So much is accomplished when we are busy doing loving things for our families, neighbours and friends. We can be confident that our loving work at home is something infinitely valuable. In so many small ways, from giving a child medicine, to making our bed, to lighting a candle at dinner, we are showing our heart of love for those around us. This makes for a happy home.

Highly Recommended Resource

I’ve read at least fifty books on homemaking, but the best one I’ve read, and one which I would highly recommend, is Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle. It addresses some of the reasons our culture has moved away from homemaking and brings an encouraging vision for our contemporary context. I’ll be referring to it regularly in this series.

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If you missed the start of this Home on the Rock blog series, you can find Part 1 here:

https://home-on-the-rock.com/the-homemaking-life-an-introduction/